Is Divorce The Solution For Relationships That Have Failed? the Philippine house panel has approved the divorce bill in principle this February 2023. While this is a major step forward, it’s important to note that the bill still needs to be approved by the senate before it can become law.
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On the other hand, I’m anxious about the possibility of the senate rejecting the bill. Despite the overwhelming support it has garnered from the public, there are still some who oppose it on moral or religious grounds. I can only hope that our lawmakers will prioritize the needs and well-being of their constituents, and recognize the importance of this bill in promoting healthy and functional families.
If the bill does become law, it could bring significant benefits to Filipino families. No longer will couples have to suffer in silence, trapped in loveless marriages that cause them misery and pain. The bill could also provide greater protection for women and children who are often the most vulnerable in cases of domestic abuse.
Overall, I believe that the approval of the divorce bill is a step in the right direction for our country. Let’s hope that the senate sees it the same way and acts accordingly.
What should they do? go back to their original partners to not commit adultery?
The problem with the Philippines is we are saying that it is not the solution even though we cannot give a solution to the problem.
First of all, why would we want to file a divorce?
Married couples often seek a divorce because they have fallen out of love with each other. When two people who no longer love each other continue living together under the same roof, it can create an incredibly challenging and strained living situation.
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Divorce can be a difficult decision to make, but for many couples, it is the best choice for their well-being and happiness. It allows them to move on and find a new path forward, one where they can be fulfilled and content. While it may be a tough decision, sometimes ending a marriage is the most loving thing two people can do for each other.
Grounds for filling a divorce
Irreconcilable differences: This refers to a situation where the spouses are unable to resolve their differences and conflicts, leading to an irreparable breakdown of the marriage.
Adultery or infidelity: This refers to a situation where one spouse has engaged in extramarital affairs or sexual relationships with someone other than their partner.
Abandonment: This refers to a situation where one spouse has left the other without any reasonable justification or consent and has not returned for a specified period.
Cruelty: This refers to a situation where one spouse has inflicted physical or mental harm on the other, making it impossible for them to continue living together.
Separation: This refers to a situation where the spouses have been living separately for a certain period, usually a year or more, and have no intention of reconciling.
Incompatibility: This refers to a situation where the spouses are incompatible with each other, making it impossible for them to continue living together.
all of the reasons above only point to one thing, they don’t love each other anymore. but why?
What makes a person withdraw their love from their partner? Will you find attraction again if you force them to live together? If divorce is not the solution, then does it mean that the Philippines is implying that staying together and trying to figure it out is the solution?
Staying together is also not the solution
Many people have made wrong decisions about entering into marriage, some of the bad reasons why people I think marry without considering if they are marrying the right person are because of the following.
The woman got pregnant
This scenario is not uncommon, a young couple accidentally got pregnant and decided to marry each other. Some are even not couples, some are just random flings that happened because they were drunk and aggressive.
They think they’re in love – Infatuation
When this is the reason why people get married, problems like incompatibility will arise, soon they will find out that it is a bad decision and they will start to live a miserable life.
When incompatibility presents itself, the following might happen.
One of them might cheat, people will continue to seek romance, and if there is no more romance at home, someone will be tempted to look for it outside.
Arguments that lead to big fights, when you don’t love your partner anymore, the tendency is most of the things they do will irritate you causing big arguments or worse physical abuse.
Abandonment: some who can’t take it anymore, will decide to abandon their partner and go far away. They will not care if they already have a child, The human brain can only handle an amount of stress.
Self-harm is a reality. There are people who cannot bear their misery anymore and resort to self-harm, which might even lead to death. Moreover, suicide cases among people in unhappy marriages are not uncommon. I have a female friend whose husband took his own life due to jealousy, and also know of a man who shot himself in the head on Christmas Eve in front of his wife.
Making people stay in a bad marriage is also not the solution.
So what is the answer?
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For those who find themselves in a difficult marriage due to impulsive decisions made in the past, divorce may be the answer to regain control over their lives. Holding onto a miserable marriage is like condemning someone to a life sentence for a mistake they made in the past.
The approval of divorce laws in the Philippines should come with a strong emphasis on preventing future divorces. While we can’t change the past, we can pave the way for a better future by implementing policies that guide and encourage individuals to make informed decisions in their relationships.
It’s important to note that divorce should never be taken lightly. It’s a significant decision that can have lasting effects on all parties involved. However, for those who have already made the mistake of marrying without considering all factors, divorce can provide a second chance to find happiness and fulfillment in life.
Let’s focus on creating a society that prioritizes healthy relationships and responsible decision-making. By doing so, we can minimize the need for divorce and promote long-lasting, fulfilling marriages.
Let’s face it, when it comes to marriage, we tend to blame our problems on external factors such as money, work, or even our in-laws. However, the truth is, the root cause of many marital issues can often be traced back to the decisions and actions we made before saying “I do.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of love and overlook warning signs or red flags that could lead to bigger problems down the road. Maybe we ignored our partner’s tendency to be controlling, or brushed off their lack of ambition. Or perhaps we made impulsive financial decisions that we’re now paying the price for.
But here’s the good news: recognizing and taking ownership of our past mistakes can actually be a positive thing for our relationships. By acknowledging our missteps and committing to making better choices moving forward, we can create a stronger foundation for our marriage and ultimately set ourselves up for long-term success.
So if you find yourself struggling in your relationship, take a step back and reflect on the decisions and actions that led you there. It may not be easy, but by facing those truths head-on and working to make positive changes, you can help ensure a brighter future for you and your partner.
Possible Solutions that can minimize bad marriage in the future
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Education About Sex and Marriage in School; Given that accidental pregnancy is one of the many common reasons why people marry, it is crucial to educate the younger generation about the potential problems of early marriage and premarital sex. We should emphasize why it is not advisable to engage in sex at an early age, and highlight the difficulties of building a family. This should be the primary goal of educating them.
Furthermore, we should also educate them about the potential issues that come with marrying without fully knowing their partners. By doing so, we can help prepare them for a successful and fulfilling marriage.
Overall, providing education about sex and marriage in schools can help young people make informed decisions about their future and avoid some of the pitfalls that can arise from uninformed or impulsive choices.
Internet sites that promote sex should be controlled, this is also one of the factors that trigger early sexual activities.
Accommodations like drive-through motels, hotels, and resorts should not accept couples or groups of young couples who don’t have a marriage license.
Alcoholic drinks should not be sold to people below 21 years old. Alcohol makes us do wrong decisions in life, most flings and one-night stand happens because of the influence of alcohol. The problem is, in the Philippines, we are not strict with selling alcohol to minors, anyone can just go to a sari-sari store to buy alcohol. Not implying strict regulations with alcohol can make a lot of bad decisions, even worse is rape.
Community class for parents and young couples who are getting married: It’s a parent’s moral obligation to guide their kids in life. I know many parents who allow their kids to be in a relationship at a younger age, but this can lead to kids spending less time studying and more time dating. Parents who give consent for their kids to marry at a young age should be educated by the government. Most parents who allow their kids to do so are just trying to fix the problem of accidental pregnancy.
Young, underage pregnant girls who are not married and consult physicians should be advised to spend a couple of months in a community class that teaches them about marriage and sex. This should not just be seen as a form of punishment but as a way of preparing them for the future. True story: I visited a health center where there were 16-year-old girls who were there for their pregnancy checkup.
The number of times a person could file for divorce must be limited to one time only. the divorce law will be abused by people if there is no limit on how many times a person can use it.
Seminars after Divorce: People who will file for divorce should attend seminars conducted by the government about divorce, the main focus should be on what happened wrong. and how to prevent these things to happen in the future.
Divorce is a difficult decision that can have negative impacts on both the couple and society. It’s not ideal, but forcing a couple to stay together when they’re miserable is not a solution either. However, we can’t simply allow divorce without addressing the underlying issues that lead to it.
To minimize divorce in the future, we need to support it with new ideas and strategies. Simply allowing divorce without considering the factors that contribute to it will not solve the problem. One way to do this is by mandating that couples attend seminars to learn about the negative effects of divorce on society.
Additionally, we should limit the number of times a person can file for divorce to prevent it from being used as a way to repeatedly make the same mistakes. By implementing these measures, we can help couples make informed decisions about their relationships and minimize the negative impacts of divorce on society.
